For Fruits Basket
by Akino K
Summary: After a nasty row with Shigure, Akito remembers something and feels a need to –? AkiGure, spoilers up to chapter 117


Title: For Fruits Basket

Author: Akito no K-chan

Summary: After a nasty row with Shigure, Akito remembers something and feels a need to –?

Warnings: Slight use of curse language, hinted sexual themes, SPOILERS up to chapter 117. Let's ignore the more recent chapters, I don't want to rewrite _everything_…

Disclaimer: Luckily for all of us, Natsuki Takaya owns Fruits Basket. And I can't sing either, so the song is Ritsuko Okazaki's.

Note: Songfic to Ritsuko Okazaki's "For Fruits Basket" (album: "Four Seasons"), the longer version of the Furuba opening. The third song that is being 'translated' into AkiGure. I hope you like it, because I do and I don't want my suspicion to be right, that you like those stories that I am sceptic about. Tell me in a review, won't you?

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– For Fruits Basket –

"I will not, in any case, allow that", Akito Sôma hissed at the man sitting right in front of her, the dog of the Jûnishi. "So stop trying to make me!"

With narrowed eyes, she stared at the sitting man, who kept silent to her words, not showing any sign at all that he had notice her small outburst – or cared, for that matter.

"I refuse to allow this! We have got enough problems without a childish romance of the cat and that stupid girl." She breathed deeply in an attempt to stop herself from completely loosing her sensibility. "Did you understand that, Shigure? In no way-"

"Yes. I did understand, Akito-san." She stared at him, eyes wide now. Did he just interrupt her? Did he just interrupt his god? That could not be true. On the inside, she shook her head. Surely, he was not _that_ stupid. "But I must tell you, that I doubt that they will care about what you say on this matter. People say that love knows no borders. It surely does not know forbidding."

'It does not know forbidding.' The words sounded strange in her head, echoing for some seconds, before finally going away. Feeling herself blush, Akito set to get really angry. "I don't care what love knows or doesn't! _They_ know and I want you to make them understand, Shigure!" She stressed his name, trying to get her point across, but immediately knew that she must have failed totally. Shigure held her eyes, smiling an irritating smile, which hurt quite badly, worrying her.

"Don't tell me, you did not understand that, Akito-san?" he asked in a mock-teasing voice, that told her that he thought the serious part of their conversation to be finished and the "funny" part began, the one that could be used to annoy her. "Kyô-kun and Toru-kun, there is no way you can separate these two, at least without physically doing so."

He was playing at something, and Akito didn't like the fact that she seemed to know all too well what it was. "Then _do_ separate them physically, I don't care! All I want is that you stop this stupid romance-something and I do _not_ care about the means at all, as long as you get it right." Hoping that she had made him understand that this conversation was over, Akito went silent. Shigure however obviously was of a different understanding.

"I see", he whispered, so quietly, that she had to listen in as closely as possible to understand anything at all. "You don't care about their love, as long as it is no disturbance to you, but when it _gets_ – And now it's got."

"I want you to leave, Shigure", she told him in a soft voice.

He merely shook his head at her. "But I don't want to-"

"Now!" she shouted, "Leave now." He smiled at her, she could tell, although there was no possible way of seeing it, as she was still looking down onto her knees. He was laughing at her, wasn't he? "Now, Shigure."

"I've got it, don't worry." Slowly, he stood up, bowing to her. She swallowed hardly. No. He was not playing with her; he was being honest. Telling herself this over and over again, while he gave her one more smile, she waited for him to leave.

For several minutes, she stared blankly at the closed shoji, barely thinking at all, only still repeating to herself that he had been reliable at the time, even now was, and that there was no reason to question his trustworthiness. "None there is. None." Her whispered words seemed almost lout in this room's total silence. "He's just being mean again. He is all too often…" She tore her eyes away from the paper wall, exhaling shakily. "Mean he is, nothing else. Just mean and into teasing."

Nonetheless, she already regretted her own harsh words. Hadn't she just told him to leave? 'Leave immediately, no matter what, just – _by all means_, leave!'

Not particularly fair either. She lowered her head, hands tightening in the soft silk of her yukata's sleeves.

Why had she said it? At no time, for as long as she could remember, she had wished for Shigure to _leave_. So how could she have told him to do so now? It was beyond her.

How had they come to such a dirty, aggressive row at all? Well, love had been a troublesome topic to them for quite a long time by now, since about _that_ time. The time when they had betrayed each other.

How good it had been before that. When they were children still, not knowing anything of trouble, living in nothing but their own world of pleasure, satisfied with what they had got.

Akito's hands loosened their grip in the sleeves' fabric, as she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Yes, it had been good. Like that day…

"_Ne, Shigure-nii-san, I don't understand. When she wanted to be there, then why wasn't she? If she didn't want to go away, then there was no reason for her to do so, right?"_

_A young boy lowered his head to face a small child sitting in his lap. He had a contemplating look, scaring her. She had never seen him looking anything but friendly._

"_Shigure-nii-san?"_

"_I'm sorry. I don't know what Ren-san is thinking, Akito-san. But you are right, it is strange."_

_Akito looked at him, as he cleared his face of the thoughtful look, then smiled down at her. She cocked her head to one side. Wasn't it something, that now Shigure was smiling?_

"_Now, do you want to go to the garden with me, Akito-san?" She shook her head._

"_Iie. I want to ask you something, Shigure-nii-san." Shigure nodded down at her. "What can you do with your soul after you go away? They told me, papa had left his soul in the box they gave me. Is that true?"_

"_Who told you that, Akito-san?", Shigure asked, standing and helping the child to stand, too._

"_One of the maids. And another one said that this was true." Akito watched the older boy with big, dark eyes, pleading for an understandable answer._

"_I am not sure about that, Akito-san. Maybe it is possible for a soul to exist even after the person has died." She gave him such a hopeful gaze, that he sighed. "Maybe it is, maybe it's not. Since I cannot tell, you'll just have to believe what _you_ think is right."_

_She nodded, following the boy outside onto the porch. "What are we going to do now, Shigure-nii-san?" He sat down on the porch with her, laying an arm around her thin shoulders._

"_We'll be talking. It will be a game, I believe."_

_She agreed to his suggestion and they spend their afternoon with their "game"._

Akito forcefully shook her head, clearing her mind of all these _too_ pleasant, _too_ good memories. Wasn't it scary how such wonderful feelings of a child were now torturing her so badly that she would have tried everything to escape them.

And even more came flooding up; images of years spend together, with all the boys of the Mabudachi-trio and the former bird – but mostly with Shigure himself. There had been so many gentle, loving days at that time, before the incident with Kureno, when Shigure would turn cold – and not become any kinder from that point on. Kindness with Shigure lay only in the past. I saddened her so very much; so much that her heart started to ache.

Why did Shigure ever have to change from what he was back then? Why did their feelings have to change at all? And then there was that girl, out of all possible things it had to be a girl! Loving the cat, however she could. Shouldn't it be impossible to love such a repulsive being as the cat? Akito thought that she could never understand.

But Shigure seemed to be able to do that. He was such an open person to that sort of things, even trying to look over his natural rejection of the cat. He would never judge Kyô's love for the girl, although it threatened the curse. _Because_, Akito corrected herself, shaking her head; of course, it was _because_ the curse was threatened. Shigure had no problems with setting his whole world head over heals. He probably was the most dangerous of them all.

Why then was it, that she wished to be with him – and in some parts even like him – although she knew this? It was insane, it was bad. And again, she scared herself as she objected her own views. Because something had to be in there.

But why then did she want to be with him? It drove her to insanity, she knew. One day, she would be there, not knowing how she had become what she was. All because of Shigure. Because he drove her insane, being as cruel as he was.

And still… He could be sweet, she knew deep in her heart. After all, he _had_ been, although it was years ago, now.

"Why did you have to be so good, those days? If it hadn't been for this…" Only did she notice that she saying the words, rather than only thinking them, when a slight sigh accompanied the last one. But wasn't it true? "If it wasn't for this…" she whispered, "Then I wouldn't have to love you, right?" Or rather, it wouldn't have hurt so much to close up towards him. And about everybody else, but that didn't matter to her right now.

If only she wasn't god. If only she could stop worrying about the Jûnishi's trust and loyalty, that she was – holding, yes. She was far from loosing. Far. She could do everything. Everything.

Everything but change, because eternity was the soul of the course. And there had been too many changes, already, herself the best example. A girl for god. _"So they could love."_ So she could not.

"Well, of course, you'll never get it, when you don't start trying soon!" Hatori's words, originally directed at Ayame some years ago, pushed her other thoughts aside. Yes, she _knew_; Trying was about everything.

There was a knock at the door and, startled, she looked up. She hadn't heard anyone coming.

"Akito-san?" It was one of the maids. Akito's eyebrow twitched in irritation.

"What's it?"

"There's a phone call for you." Opening her mouth to an unfriendly retort, she got interrupted by the old bitch on the other side of the door. "It's Shigure-san." She was up and rushing out of her room before she even consciously worked through the message. She barely noticed the odd looks the other maids were giving her.

"Shigure?" Only while she already held the receiver to her ear, she realised her heart beating so hard, it almost hurt. And her voice, kami-sama, he'd…

"Oh, are you out of breath? So excited to hear my voice?" She could have cursed herself – only that probably there would not have been much of a change.

"Shut up! Why are you calling? You only just left!" There was a bit of a silence, before she noticed the slight mistake. "You _can_ talk, of course. I mean, who would think, you'd actually _listen_ to what I say?"

"Why, _thank_ you. I only wanted to give an excuse. For leaving."

Her throat tightened and she tried to swallow the lump down before answering. Still, her voice quivered. "So? Do you?" But only in the slightest. "And what would that be?" She turned slightly, eyeing the maid directly, that was hiding at the door. The old woman backed away at her raised eyebrows.

"I believe my emotions at that matter carried me away a bit."

"Hm? What was that? Great Shigure Sôma admits emotions?" She cocked her head to the right, a half-curious expression lightening up her features, although he couldn't see it.

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. "Yes. Yes, he does. When he sees a mistake, he admits it. When he feels, why shouldn't he admit that, too?"

"Sounds like a mistake, itself."

"I'm sorry if it does to you, but I can't change it."

'Can't change it. But want to. I want to change it. I want to change…' "If you don't need anything else, then this is it, I believe." There was silence and Akito felt her hear heart race again. Now or never, was it? 'I want to change- something-'

"Shigure, wait!" The line kept silent, but he was still there. She could practically see his mischievous smile. "I- I want to…" she stammered, unsure of what to say. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry, too. For telling you to leave like that. And for shouting." He chuckled silently and she felt somewhat trapped, blushing a pale red, but at least her heart beat was back to normal. "I was-"

"Jealous." The word was stated in such a cool manner, so absolutely, that she kept silent to it. "It was, to state it, quite obvious. Yes. Although I am _not_ going to speculate on the why." She swallowed. "Would you still tell me, what the jealousy is about?" It sounded almost sympathetic.

Yes, she would. She _would_, but there was something blocking her throat.

"Tell me!" he urged.

"Being together!"

Silence. He drew a heavy breath. "Well…"

"I- I want…" She couldn't say it. "-to be – together."

"With me?"

"Yes." She _couldn't_ say it, after all.

"Me, too." A laugh forced its way out of her throat. "Be sure of that."

"Oh, yes. I _am_. I just wish I could believe you. Understand this?" Silence. "I wish I could change it all."

"I don't think there's a need for that."

"_I_ do." Now it was unavoidable. "I think, I- I need to change things. I need to change…"

"Yes?"

"In order to stay together… I think I need to change." Still, she was unsure.

"I see." There was excitement hidden in this voice. "An – interesting decision." She stayed silent, thus urging him to speak up again. "Do you want to see me tomorrow?"

"I want to see you _every_ day." It was true; she did. Shigure breathed soundly, exhaling in a shiver. "I want to, so I have to – change, right?"

"Right. I'll be there. Give me-"

"You'll come here?" she chocked at herself.

"- twenty minutes and I'll be there." He was in a hurry already. "I'm coming – my dear Akito-san."

She let her eyes dart about the room as she heard click on his end, and slowly hung up. There was no vice in the hall, no sound of footsteps, not even breathing. She was alone, but _he_ was coming.

Strolling back to her rooms, she finally stumbled over a maid again. The woman watched her, hungry for some news to gossip over, but Akito didn't even bother to give her a second glance. No, not a change, yet. Not yet. But at least there still was time to learn how to change.

"_The Jûnishi don't change. That's their curse – and it's why we don't live. Why we _cannot_."_ But maybe it was just a bit different. Maybe they couldn't live, because they didn't _dare_ change. Oh, couldn't that be wonderful?

For she was just starting her very first change.

Owari


End file.
